Are you an Amateur or a Professional?

You are probably reading this blog, hoping and believing that you are a professional in whatever work that you do. Yet, isn't there a little voice that whispers, "you might still be a bit "amateurish" in your methods"? I'm going to suggest the outrageous idea that a bit of the amateur in our work is a good thing!

Amateurs do what they do because of how they feel about the thing they are doing. Whether it’s woodworking, car repair, painting, demonstrating for a cause, or cleaning up a beach, they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t have a strong positive feeling for what they are doing.

Professionals on the other hand, will get the job done, no matter how they feel about it. A true professional will spend an efficient amount of time to get the work done at the level of quality that they feel is appropriate. Amateurs will not be efficient. They will spend many more hours for the love of it.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a bit of this “love” in our professional life? Often we come into a profession because of a special feeling we have for the work, but as the pressures of work place expectations weigh on us, we do become more efficient and effective. Yet this seems to come at the expense of our emotional connection to the work, the “amateur” in us. So if you are feeling somewhat lacking in the enthusiasm you first felt, I recommend reconnecting with the spirit that woke you up to this line of work.

Take a look at how you spend your work time. Break down your work into which parts need the professional approach and which parts, even if it’s very small, could do with the “amateur” approach. Look for hints that the “magic” is still hanging around, waiting for you to lift your eyes up from the efficiency ledger. You may be surprised how quickly it returns! That “amateurishness” will likely lead you into a level of professionalism that you never imagined!

The Curse of Being “Average”- or is it?

We all hate coming out with an “average” score on annual reviews or on patient/client satisfaction surveys. In America, “average” can mean that that you don’t get into the college of your choice or your business doesn’t survive. But let’s not trash “average” just yet.



Have you ever heard of the “curse of exceptionality”? In the psychological literature it’s been suggested that this can lead to depression and suicide. People who are considered “exceptional” can often feel very, very alone. They can come to believe that “no one understands” them which can lead to mood swings and depression. It’s no coincidence that movie stars and rock kings are fun to read about because of all of the emotional drama that goes on in their lives! Many end up feeling “exceptionally” alone and seek solace through drugs, alcohol, and random relationships.


 “Average” on the other hand, reminds us that we are all in the same boat, suffering the highs and lows of life together. The “curse of exceptionality” can also affect those who are attempting to be exceptional, but just can’t be. They may think of themselves as a “failure” which can also lead to a dive off of a bridge or swallowing a bottle of pills. Barring that extreme, “failure” can cast a pall over the good things that are in a person’s life and make them almost invisible. "Average" on the other hand, reminds us that failure is part of the human experience and is often the doorway into a more satisfying path.



Average has some other advantages over “exceptional”. It does call for the need to show up and “do the work”.  No resting on the laurels of good looks and big biceps. Instead, there is the planting of the seeds, the daily feeding and watering, and watching the fruit grow. What most “average” people find is that the cumulative effect of average is quite extraordinary. As an example, 45 minutes of writing a day will usually produce a book in 6 months. Calling 5 new prospects a day will result in an excellent sales base in 6 months.  And one hour of daily focused time with a child is 500 hours a year of specialness that will give a child an exceptional base from which to study and play well.



The best thing about “average” is that it does not preclude “unique”…which is really the value of this whole discussion. The idea of exceptional vs. average is really an illusion. An innocent illusion that is easy to fall for because we’ve missed the lesson of “unique”. There is a reason why no two people have the same fingerprints. There is a reason why it’s so hard to “be like” someone else. We aren’t here to be like anyone. We are here to be ourselves…fully and unreservedly. The notion of being “exceptionally unique” or “averagely unique” is silly isn’t it? Unique just IS and that is what we all are about. The challenge of this uniqueness is whether we will ignore it and be miserable or see it and rejoice.
 

And here is the funny thing about unique: it can inadvertently lead to the very things that we were looking for in our quest for exceptionality...only without the loss of connection to our fellow human beings! So, I vote for “rejoice”…and never missing out on the joy of being “average”!!! 

 

Building That Success Team-4 Strategies That Work

     Wait, do I need a “Success Team”? Wasn’t America built on “rugged individualism”? Maybe so, but in this day and age, “staying alive” means a lot more than catching your meals and building your cabin. My favorite coach, Michael Neill (Supercoach.com) reminded our last training class about the story of Diana Nyad. In 2013, on her fifth attempt and at age 64, she became the first person confirmed to swim from Cuba to Florida without the aid of a shark cage, swimming from Havana to Key West (110 mi or 180 km). On the face of it, swimming is a very “one person” sport, wouldn’t you say? And this is a very singleton accomplishment. Yet, as Michael pointed out, even for this very individual accomplishment, she had a 53 person support team! So get over the idea that you are going to accomplish much “on your own.”  

     Strategy Number One: Perhaps you haven’t really thought about whom is supporting you now. So do this first: think about the support that is already being given to you for your project, your dream, your family, or whatever it is that you want to accomplish. It might be as small a thing as the neighbor boy who walks your dog for you when you are late coming home or as large as your Mom and Dad paying for college for you. To help you organize and write this down (yes, it needs to be in black and white) draw an “inner circle” of helpers (your best friend that is happy to proof read your reports) and an “outer circle” of helpers (the grocery store that delivers). Just once, write down all those people and allow yourself that initial surprise of “I’d never really thought of it like that before.” Now, take it one step further. Identify roles that you don't currently have but would LIKE to have in those circles. Maybe it would be nice to have someone taking your laundry to the cleaners. Maybe it would be great to be able to talk to a trusted mentor about your next career move. Identify any roles that “would really be wonderful” to have on your side, for the particular accomplishment that you are focusing on. And, if there is a particular person that you’d like to have in that role, write their name in too!  

     Now for Strategy Number Two: Don’t ask for “help”; rather, ask for “assistance”. The difference in these two words can be pretty astounding. When someone asks me for help, even if I love them dearly, there is this sense that they want me to fix it for them. It’s as though they’ve given up, and they want to drop it in my lap so that I can take it over. Subtly, it feels like they are saying “you are better than me at this so please do it for me”. Sure, there are some things that I probably have more experience with and probably can accomplish quicker or with greater quality than others. But what bothers me about this type of asking is that it’s missing the point of that person being willing to throw themselves onto a bigger playing field. I'm talking about that field of “providence”, where they look to something bigger than themselves to find the right answer for their situation. My answer for their situation is never going to be as perfect as the answer that comes from “providence” to them.  Sure, my ego is going to get a bit stroked; but it will be in exchange for taking a certain level of responsibility and putting in a certain level of emotional work in addition to the actual work on the problem. They will be waiting around (tapping their feet impatiently?) while I take care of it, with my own energy and time. The problem may be “fixed” or at least improved, but they will have missed the real point of having the problem in the first place. 

     Compare that to asking for “assistance”.  Doesn’t this have a different tenor to it? The asker is never giving up ownership for the problem. Rather they are just asking to make it a bit shorter or easier. Even if you said “no”, you wouldn’t get the impression that the project or issue wouldn’t go forward. You know and they know that they would find someone else or a different way to ask for “providence”! I do find that others are much more willing to be part of my support team when they can see that they are being asked to provide a “material input” to the problem rather than the additional baggage of "help". “Assistance” seems to assume a certain equality that is not true for “a cry for help”. In truth, I have found that a request for assistance is much more likely to be answered than a cry for help, at least when it comes to bringing a support team together. (This perspective does not hold true when it comes to fighting a fire or a thug!) 

     Strategy Number Three: Engage the magic of “Enrollment”. Enrollment is something that goes beyond request. There is a magical quality to it because the engagement of the other persons' support is not a causal experience. Lawrence Platt, in his essays about Werner Erhard’s work on ethics, talks about enrollment as ”Causing a new possibility to be present for another, so they are touched, moved, and inspired by that possibility.” There is no formula to bring about enrollment of another to your project or cause, but it is clearly not based on the dry presentation of goals or outcomes. It seems to be tied to aspirations and dreams.  I recommend looking at what has enrolled YOU into your project or cause or improvement. Since enrollment makes someone want to become part of “the team”, if you touch on your own inspiration, it is likely that you could open the door to someone else’s inspiration and viola’…they see what you see about the project and sign on! That moment of enrollment occurs as an insight; seeing something that they haven’t seen before from quite that angle. It isn’t an intellectual thought but rather a full body knowing. It’s quite thrilling to see it happen! 

     Which brings me to Strategy Number Four: Find the “Heart” of your team. That’s YOU. No, I don’t mean the little you, the one who is good at some things and lousy at other things; the one that has “issues” at times and at other times seems a bit too “puffed up”. I’m talking about the real YOU…the one who is there when you aren’t thinking about you; the one who has those moments of clarity; the one who is always there, no matter how old you are or how much you weigh. I remember my Mom commenting on her 85th birthday, “Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder, ‘who is that old woman?’, because inside I still feel like I did at age 25.” That’s the YOU I am talking about. Bring that person onto your team. When that little voice speaks to you, be AMAZED…even if you don’t follow the wisdom (although later you will wish that you had-we all do that); still be AMAZED that you had that voice speak to you. That’s all you have to do; just BE AWARE…and that YOU will join your team. The more you become aware of that YOU, the more from the “Heart” will your support team operate. And I’m talking about even the Outer Circle team! Assistance and enrollment will come to the beat of that heart in ways that will amaze you! I really encourage you to try these tips out. After all, you have nothing to lose but a huge support team!

4 Tips on Project or Creative Momentum

One of the unsung heroes in moving projects and creations forward is MOMENTUM. Granted, it can take a lot of work to get a project or creative endeavor going...but even in the midst of it, just remember that you will peak the hill, and momentum WILL take over!! It's easy to forget during the "sweat" just how mind-boggling MOMENTUM can really be. There are also 4 related tips that I wanted to share about building up to that downhill run that has helped me:

 

1. Take "Massive Action": Many thanks to Michael Neill (Supercoachacademy.com) and his mentor, Steve Chandler, for putting a name to this. I think of "Massive Action" as the point in the project life where you do everything you can to push it, and then you do even more. It's like a "feeding frenzy". It's like bringing a gun to a knife fight. You overwhelm the project or problem or roadblock of inactivity. You "beat it to a pulp". Sometimes it does feel kind of "mindless"...like, I'll say, "why am I doing this...we've nailed it"...and then I do more. Much of the activity may not have outcomes. But there is something magic about it anyway.

 

2. Fail fast and fail often: I have found the fear of failure to be a block to good outcomes. When I used to show horses, I found that the best way to get over the stiffness that comes from a fear of falling is just to let go and fall. In writing, I have heard it said to write every day, because it will flush the "crappy" out of the system!  I have read that in "LEAN Manufacturing" that the best way is to stress the production system quickly, so as to get to the weak points quicker and improve them. Momentum is like that too. Overwhelming failure in the beginning and through the hard work will get you to the momentum quicker.

 

3. Be Discouragement Proof - it's virtually impossible to get momentum if you allow yourself discouragement. Discouragement saps your energy. It will stop the buildup of momentum. How to avoid it? Just remember, the feeling of "discouragement" comes from the thinking of thoughts like "this isn't happening", "this is going to be a failure", "I'm so stupid for doing this", and so on and so forth. Look, everyone has those thoughts...imagine Thomas Edison after he had failed 500 times, 600 times, 700 times to get that light bulb to work. They say it took 1000 times for him to find the right filament material. There are some thoughts that you just can't listen too. Let them pass through... (Just like your thoughts about your in-laws). Some thoughts just aren't worth acting on. Instead, remember, RESILIANCE is an in-born trait of human beings. We are meant to bounce back. We are like Teflon pans...you can mix up all kinds of crap and mistakes and cook it...but at the end of the session, you stick it under water and it slides right off...all ready to make up some good eggs and bacon!!

 

4. Watch for Game Changers - they happen all the time and often at the most unexpected times. That hallway conversation that leads to a new idea or an unexpected leadership visit that leads to a new backer, or a change in the project's environment that suddenly bumps the priority up to the top of the organizational list. How about finding out that Aunt Maude knows a book editor or maybe the Chief of Police turns out to be your hairdresser’s cousin and she's happy to enlist his help. Its crazy stuff like that can turn the slog for momentum into the story you tell your grandchildren.

 

So, "keep the faith" baby, and just remember that building MOMENTUM is a part of the big picture of being who we are, part of this "great unfolding" of life!

Desire as a Navigation Tool

My birthday was on Thursday, so as the "Birthday Girl", I got to have a day of doing what ever I wanted! Which brought to my mind something that I heard Michael Neill say in his class "Creating the Impossible 2.0" (Supercoachacademy.com). Suppose we were to "navigate by desire"?? Would our lives, our creations, or our projects be different?

It's kind of a scary thought, really, to set goals based on "desire". There is something faintly illegal or immoral underlying that word. For my birthday, I didn't so much use the word "desire" to plan my day; it was more like "acceptable fun". "Desire' might have taken me somewhere else!

Yet, I do understand what Michael is getting at. When you come to see the inside out nature of life, and that our happiness bubbles up from the inside, and is not dependent on what's going on in that outside world, then decisions about what to do or what to accomplish don't have to answer the question, "what is going to make me happy"...it becomes possible to tie project outcomes, life goals, or the great American novel to "what do I desire to put out there in the world". It lends a whole different feeling to the goal setting when we realize that we are already happy, we are already taken care of, we are already safe and it's just our thinking about it that can get in the way of those things.

Using desire as a navigation tool is not a prescription. Rather it's a description of what happens when we come to see that our happiness and well-being have already been taken care of. They are as much a part of our life as the sun. Sure, we don't always see the sun shining...clouds get in the way...the earth itself gets in the way of our feeling the sun. But the fact remains, the sun IS always shining...and we will always feel it again. So is our happiness and well-being. They aren't tied to what we accomplish, how much we get, how we look, who are friends are, where we travel too. And given that, we CAN let our own desire set the sails and see where we go. In fact, once we come to see our innate happiness and well-being, then we can see the wisdom behind our desires. The Big Picture, or Universal Mind suddenly comes into focus when we see that desire is more about what we are really here to do!

Is this still a bit frightening? Then try is just for a short period of time. Do something that you desire, just for a minute. Extend it to 5 minutes and see what happens. Or maybe try it on your birthday. I'm thinking about having a second "Birthday Girl" day, where desire leads the way!

3 Step GPS System For Success: Step Three-What’s Next?

This last week I've been exploring the GPS System for success, which I maintain is the easiest system to follow. Whether you are creating/leading a million dollar project or painting a picture, this 3 step system is about as simple as you can find. The questions that need to guide you to success are the same 3 questions that guide your GPS system:

1. Where do I want to end up?
2. Where am I now?
3. What's next?

Step 3 is, on the one hand, the easiest step to take. Yet, it can feel like the hardest step. Because it does mean relying on the “GPS System” to speak to you; to tell you what step to take next. This means allowing something other than your little self to guide you.

If this causes you some consternation, just remember: You are designed to hear what the next step is. That’s what I love about the GPS system. It takes into account that we are part of a larger whole, that we can have an insight or a spark of creativity, or a new idea at any moment! And just like our automobiles GPS system, we are designed to receive it, one step at a time. I’m not the first to notice this. Ken Roberts, in his book “A Rich Man’s Secret” said it like this, “Take the first step, no more, no less – and the next will be revealed.”

For me, it is normal to want to have every step planned out before I start. I am a natural planner and organizer. I get a bit nervous if I don’t have at least “an idea” of where I’m going. But I have learned the hard way that too much “forward planning” can actually be a burden and get in the way of insight and creativity. I’ve come to appreciate the ambiguity of planning in the way that General Dwight D. Eisenhower noted, “In all battles, the process of planning is indispensable; but plans are useless.”

Here’s my challenge…try out the GPS System…trust in the bigger Universe to work with you. To be honest, I’ve learned that it’s fool-proof and in many ways, just plain fun!!

3 Step GPS System For Success: Step Two-Where Am I Now?

This week I'm exploring the GPS System for success, which I maintain is the easiest system to follow. Whether you are creating/leading a million dollar project or painting a picture, this 3 step system is about as simple as you can find. The questions that need to guide you to success are the same 3 questions that guide your GPS system:

1. Where do I want to end up?
2. Where am I now?
3. What's next?

So today I am going to look at "Where Am I Now?" In order for any GPS system to work, it needs to have both the coordinates for where you want to end up, and the coordinates for where you are currently. In the GPS System for Success, "recording" those coordinates is like taking a video tape of where you are now. It has nothing to do with what you are thinking or what you are feeling. It has everything to do with what you would see if you were videotaping where you are now (on your project, your novel, your weight loss, your money gathering). 

As an example, I might be working extra hours in order to buy a new refrigerator. The video tape reality is that "I have $450 towards my $1500 dollar refrigerator. I have signed up to work 8 extra hours a week at $12 an hour and so far I am signed up for 4 weeks". This is a pretty concrete GPS coordinate...you could video tape your time schedule and your bank statement. On the other hand, all of your thinking about it, i.e. "Oh God, another shift...I am so freaking tired of this", or "wow, I can really make some extra money of other stuff...maybe I should book that Hawaii vacation", or "I am such a loser...$12.00 an hour...I could be making $20 an hour if I had just listened to my Dad"...all of that won't be seen on a video tape...and actually, it wouldn't help the GPS system get you to your end point, even if the system could pick it up!

You see, thoughts and feelings aren't as valid to creating outcomes as we think. So take those speculation, opinions, and beliefs out of the equation. Because creating outcomes of any kind ISN'T ABOUT US!! It's about bringing FORM INTO REALITY FROM THE FORMLESS. It's that simple.

The GPS System will take you where you want to end up, if you give it coordinates that you can "see on a videotape"...not what's in your head. Sure, what's in our head might be "true" in the moment, but how you feel in that moment is not helpful to creation - what you are feeling has no concrete relationship to your creation - what you are feeling in the moment is  only telling you about the quality of your THINKING about your creation or outcome, not the :videotape reality" of your outcome or creation...whether it is a team outcome or a personal outcome. So, plug in the videotape reality of where you are at with your outcome or creation and then see what happens next...and that will be my next blog!!!